Take Care of Yourself During Divorce

As women, we don't always think about ourselves and the importance of self-care while going through a divorce. We do a really good job of putting others needs above our own. But it's essential to take good care of yourself during this divorce and I want to share some areas of self-care to help you do just that.

Get Your Rest
Prioritize your rest during this time. I know it's easier said than done, and you are probably tempted to take care of things after the kids have gone to bed. But your kids need the BEST version of you to help them get through this divorce, too. Resting your body and mind will help you be present and focused. Try to get 8 hours of sleep per night, uninterrupted. (Again, easier said than done, especially if you have an infant or toddler!)

If you find that you're having trouble sleeping or even sleeping too much, talk to a doctor or a therapist. A big part of self-care is seeking help when you need it.

Schedules Are for You, Too
We know that having our children on a schedule makes life go a bit smoother. The same goes for you, especially during a divorce. In the chaos it's easy to forget to do the small things like brush your teeth or get good rest. But making and keeping a schedule for yourself can help make everything go smoother.

Maybe your schedule is in the form of a list, a calendar, or alarms on your phone. Whatever it looks like, a schedule can help you feel more in control of your own life, and you'll be able to address the random things that come up with ease because you'll know that the basics are covered.

Write it Down
While you're making a schedule, set aside time to journal. This is proven to be a great way to work through your feelings by getting them out. No one needs to see it. These are your personal thoughts and getting the words out and processing the feelings will be helpful. It will be even more helpful than sending a hateful email in a blind rage to your soon-to-be ex. (Although when you're divorcing a narcissist, it might be really, really hard to not respond to his attacks with hateful words.)

Maybe you're grieving, frustrated, mad, or couldn't be happier. It doesn't matter whether your feelings are positive or negative, there is still a lot to process when your family is going through divorce. Writing down your thoughts and feelings and encouraging your children to do the same might not take the place of therapy, but it will help you take ownership of your feelings and gain clarity to move forward.

Lean Into a Support System
Surround yourself with people you trust. Sometimes having a small circle around you during a divorce is best. It can help you understand that you aren't the alone, while also maintaining the control of information and feelings you want to keep close.

You might want to focus on something other than the divorce for a time and go out with a friend. You may be looking for understanding and the ability to commiserate with someone going through the same process. Whether you decide to open up to friends and family, a professional therapist, or group of women going through divorce just like you, finding the sense of belonging during divorce is important.

You've heard the old saying that you can't take care of anyone else until you take care of yourself. Well, it's especially true while going through your divorce. It's okay to put your needs first. Get plenty of rest. Make a schedule and stick to it. Get your feelings out in a healthy way and lean on a trustworthy support system. When the divorce is over and your post-divorce life officially begins, you want to be the very best version of yourself.