Financial infidelity can wreck a marriage.
It can be as devastating as a romantic affair. And, believe it or not, cheating and lying about money often go hand-in-hand.
Would it surprise you to learn that 38% of divorcing couples reported financial problems as a primary cause of their divorce? The financial problems aren't just limited to budgeting or spending problems, they also include one person lying to the other about money.
Financial Infidelity and Red Flags of Fraud
Financial infidelity includes any lie about money to your spouse. Of course, it could be as simple as a little white lie about how much you spent shopping or whether you ate out the other day. That's likely not a big deal. But little lies can become bigger lies, and eventually your husband could have a secret bank account, or might have blown thousands of dollars on gambling, or is spending money on his affair partner.
It's important to be on the lookout for red flags of fraud, which are signs that something is going wrong with the money.
Some of the more common red flags you might see include:
- Making several ATM withdrawals and you don’t know where that cash is going
- Acting secretive with their phone
- Not giving you access to financial information
- Spending large amounts of money without telling you first
- Having an account you knew nothing about
Sometimes financial infidelity is being hidden so well that there isn’t blatant proof... you just have that gut feeling that something isn’t quite right.
So what do you do if your instinct is telling you that your husband is being dishonest?
You follow the money.
The money never lies and you can find the hidden money in your divorce if you know where to look.
Before you rush to confront your spouse with your suspicions, gather information. I can’t stress this enough. Don’t make accusations until you have gathered as much documentation as you have access to. If there is fraud in your marriage, you want your lying husband to continue to think he is getting away with it. You don’t want to give him an opportunity to lock you out of accounts or destroy any documents.
You want to come out of your divorce:
- Financially independent
- Confident you can provide for you and your children
- Certain you got a fair settlement and didn’t leave anything on the table
- On a path toward financial security
Do you hire a forensic accountant to find the money?
Maybe, but this type of service is expensive and often not affordable when you're getting divorced.
That's why I want to show you how to look for the money yourself. It's not as hard as you think. You know your family's habits better than anyone, so if you're looking at a bank statement, you probably have a good idea of what transactions are questionable.
So let's use my 25+ years of experience as a forensic accountant to help you find those hidden accounts. I share all of the details in the Divorce Money Guide, but these tips will give you a great place to start:
1. Check financial records. Look through bank statements, credit card bills, and other financial records to see if there are any unusual transactions or accounts that you don't recognize. Pay attention to large withdrawals, cash advances, or purchases that seem out of the ordinary.
2. Look for hidden assets. If your spouse is hiding assets, he or she may have opened secret bank accounts without your knowledge. Look for any evidence of these accounts or assets, such as receipts, statements, or login information. You might even see something as simple as a transfer from your joint checking account to another bank account that you never knew about!
3. Monitor social media. Your husband may be sharing information about his financial activities on social media. Look for any posts or comments that suggest he hs been spending money without your knowledge. You might also find evidence of an affair here.... liking or commenting on posts of "friends" you don't know about, having private conversations that are inappropriate, etc.
4. Review tax documents. Tax returns and W-2s will show you how much money your husband was really making, and you can compare this to the money that was coming into your bank account to see if he was siphoning off any of his pay. Tax returns can also give you information about where you have investments or bank accounts.
The first most important step you can take if you suspect financial infidelity is to secure evidence.
Get all of your account statements and tax returns, and put them somewhere safe. Find time to go through them line-by-line to see what looks suspicious. We're here to help.
Your first step is knowing what financial documents to gather so you start understanding your finances. Our Divorce Financial Documents resource will help you get started.
Teresa
I like how there are videos that lay out each stop and really explain what the process will be. although the divorce process itself is overwhelming, the Divorce Money Guide is comforting.
Amanda
The Divorce Money Guide helped me go into court to face my ex with my confidence. I had my proof and I got my money.
The Divorce Money Guide
This Is Your Key To Finding Hidden Money & Assets
This Guide walks you through everything you need to know to find out exactly what your family's money was spent on and to uncover hidden financial fraud in your marriage.
This is your chance to find the money.... before you agree to any settlement in your divorce.
Get the Guide
